Social Media and Gaming App Dangers- Trends and Action Parents Can Take

By GraceAnne Talarico LPC, LCADC

Social media usage has increased for our youth and teens since the pandemic started. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I have seen some dangerous trends that I would like to share. I will then provide some helpful questions at the end for parents to ask their children to become more aware of what they are viewing on social media and gaming apps, and who they are conversing with, so better-informed supervision and monitoring can be implemented.

There are many apps that youth can get an account on. It’s actually very easy to do. In fact, most youth have several accounts. As parents we should be aware of this; as well as the fact that even if they don’t have access to their phones, youth can log on to any device that is linked to the internet- including SMART Televisions, Google chrome books, laptops. and gaming devices, such as PlayStation, Xbox, etc. Parents, it is also of the utmost importance to know who your children are meeting and speaking to online.

I would like to address trends that I have seen happening to our youth on an app called Discord. This is not to say that these issues are not happening on other apps. Just for the purposes of this article- I will focus on Discord. It is a chat app geared towards gamers. Individuals can create their own servers and invite others in to chat about games they are interested in, such as SouthPark or Undertale. A child can easily join these servers, based on their interests. and then once they are chatting in these servers, they can create their own servers, be persuaded to join other’s servers, and then be invited to private chats with people they do not know. Many youth have divulged that when they are in private chats they have experienced the conversations quickly become of a sexual nature and some were verbally sexually assaulted. These are kids as young as 7 years old. The kids are being groomed in these servers for private chats and they are led to believe the online “friends,” they are making are other kids their age. But this is simply not always the case, and they are being groomed by predators. They use made up names for anonymity, which also provides a false sense of safety for youth to provide their private and personal information to strangers. 

It is important to note that Discord promotes their servers as being “private,” and that the creator/or owner of the server needs to invite others to enter their server. Although this is true, there is another site, Disboard.org, that kids are directed to. Disboard advertises itself as a place where you can list/find Discord servers. This site lists the links to the private servers on Discord and anyone can obtain access to servers through these publicized links. They are basically “open invitations,” to private servers if the creator/owner of the server posts their link. Right now, there are over a million servers that are listed on this site. The links are to strangers servers on Discord. 

Trends seen: Per parent reports gathered over the past 2 years.

1. All parents report youth on several social media apps, and some had several accounts. All parents were unaware of the specific apps and what or how many their child was on. 
2. Parents report youth on the electronics excessively.
3. Some reported relationships with other online youth. It was suspected that these youth may have not been the age they stated they were and in fact adult predators influencing vulnerable youth. 
4. When parents tried to enforce boundaries and limit setting, youth were highly resistant and could escalate into rages. At times, the police were called.
5. Some youth involved had a diagnosis of being on the Autism Spectrum or having an ADHD diagnosis. The ones who did not have a clinical diagnosis would report to parents that they were self -diagnosed ADHD or have knowledge of some other mental health disorder they proclaimed to have. These are very vulnerable, impressionable, and sometimes socially awkward kids desperate for social connections. 
6. Parents report they would see their child act withdrawn, spend many hours alone in their room and see changes in their child’s behavior, mood, and personality. Time spent on their devices negatively affected their sleep and eating habits. 
7. For teens- some reported use of substances or increase use of substances. 

Trends seen: Youth presented with following behaviors:

1. Safety risks: Including cutting/self-harm behaviors, and/or suicidal threats/thoughts/gestures/attempts.
2. Multiple Personalities: Some presented with Dissociative symptoms or with multiple personalities (mind dimensions) It is worthy to note that Discord has bots that track the many personalities youth input to discuss with other youth that also present with same. Discord also allows for polls of the personalities when the host (or youth) puts in a question. Such as, “Should I cut my hair today?” This item can be a whole presentation on its own, as the personalities, or “alters,” can also be in relationships with alters of other youth they meet online, and it can get very confusing for youth of what is real vs. what is fantasy?
3. Gender Identity Issues: Many presented with gender identity concerns that have never been brought up before by youth, including identifying now as non-binary, transgender, etc. Some reported relationships with other youth who identified as transgender or non-binary. 
4. Psychiatric Screening: Some have been seen by the Psychiatric Emergency Screening Services ER for safety concerns. Some youth were also psychiatrically hospitalized for stabilization and safety.
5. School Issues: Declining grades/loss of interest in activities and friends that in the past brought happiness to them.
6. Emotional Issues: Mood swings/depression/anxiety
7. Cash Apps for Loot Boxes: Some youth played other games and needed money for loot boxes and were offered to create a cash app/account for money from "older men."

Parents- What We Can DO: 

1. Ask your children/teens what social media apps they are on and ask them to show you. Ask how many accounts they have and why. If on Discord, ask what servers they are on. 
2. Ask about their online friends- who are they talking to? What are their names? Have they ever spoken on the phone or Facetimed so they can see who they are really speaking to? Or do they only know their screen name? Can you, their parent, speak to their parent? If not, why? Has the online friend ever asked them to do something they felt uncomfortable with? Such as asking for private pictures or videos? Has their conversation ever turned sexual in nature? Have their online friends ever made threats against them or their family members if they didn’t do something that was asked of them? Did they ever block these friends and why? Is there anything that they are afraid of?
3. Is there adequate supervision of their social media usage? Adequate supervision would include putting limits on how much time they can be on the electronics and ensuring you know that they are getting their responsibilities done first before being allowed on social media, including chores, homework, extracurricular school activities, after school jobs, taking care of pets, etc. Are they getting enough sleep at night or are they on their phone? 
4. Please know that many youth have a code of honor on these apps, that they agree not to share information about their online friends with their parents or any other adults. So, at times it may be difficult to get truthful information. But… as parents, we know our kids the best, if you are seeing red flags and have concerns or suspicions about your child’s social media and gaming app usage- Please do not hesitate to contact a mental health professional. It could save their life!

If you notice that your child has behaviors and signs that look like above trends- Please know that help is out there. Please seek professional counseling. It is easy to refer to the back of your insurance card or if in crisis- reach out to PerformCare at 877-652-7624 for further direction. If your child presents with any safety risks- please contact or go to your local screening center/ER for assistance or call 911.